my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
