So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
just tell him i said nine months
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
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