Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
