Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
