Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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