Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
