Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Send help, water and tortillas.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
