I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
