It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
