About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
