What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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