i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
