Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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