In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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