I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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