Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize