i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
