Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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