my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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