I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
