Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
