I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize