I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize