If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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