How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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