I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
