guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
third nipple confirmed
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
