I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
