Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
She needs sedatives and a leash
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
