Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
my poor anus
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
