She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize