The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
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