Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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