just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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