GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
