so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
My balls are so social today.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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