you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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