Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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