im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
