is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
