I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
