I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
