Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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