It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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