I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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