I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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