his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
