2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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