Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
