wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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