My liver just broke up with me...
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
