bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
