I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
