absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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