I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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