That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
