I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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