There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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