I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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