Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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