he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
