There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
she smelled like a LAN party
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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