PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
