Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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